Number 27
by DJZone
Summary: Josh steps into The Twilight Zone. Two versions. Pick the one you like the best. Please read and review.
1. Version 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**I watched some episodes of The Twilight Zone**

**and wanted to try the Sci-Fi genre using Drake **

& Josh themes.

**Very loosely based on the season 5 episode:**

**Number 12 Looks Just Like You.**

**  
Submitted for your approval are two versions. **

**  
Please read and review and let me know which **

**one of the two that you like better and if you would like **

**to see this concept expanded.**

**Thanx.**

**Version #1**

Number 27 (Looks Just Like You)

Josh Nichols always the good student sat his desk typing out his American history report on his

laptop. It was peaceful having the room to himself. His step brother Drake Parker could always be

counted on to blast the stereo or play his electric guitar on "ten". Josh took a drink from his can of

Diet Mocha Cola as he tried to find synonyms for brilliant when describing Winston Churchill's

speeches. He yawned and debated whether or not he should go to the Premiere Galleria and get

himself a berry blend smoothie.

They were his favorite and maybe he could look in the window of Zales and ponder getting his

girlfriend Mindy Crenshaw an engagement ring for Christmas. They didn't even "do it" yet. What

made him think that he and Mindy were going to be "forever"? Was it just because Josh didn't try to

screw the whole female population of California like his brother?

Josh stretched his arms and legs while still sitting in the rolling computer chair. The need for

quenching his smoothie thirst outweighed doing yet another school report for another obligatory "A".

The young teenage boy wanted so much more out of life. Sometimes, he quietly wished that he was

more like Drake. The boy was handsome, he didn't push himself in the school department, he could

sing AND play the guitar, and every girl wanted to throw their p----- at him.

It must have been fun being him.

Audrey Parker-Nichols had the date circled in red on her calendar. The time was almost here. She

made a deal and had to stick with it. The small suitcase was packed and in the hall closet. Walter

had his chance and he blew it with his "I'm calling the police" threats. The plane would disappear

and he'd be swallowed into a vapid hole like all _the others_.

He must have been really naïve to believe KDJY was sending him to New York for some

meteorological convention. Her herbal tea was cold, it could've been hot, and it could've been a

piece of Styrofoam.

There was absolutely no sensation.

She would stay seated in the kitchen chair until it was time to take meat out of the freezer and

prepare dinner for the one that didn't know his life was going to be changed.

He could be given a chance.

Megan didn't have any comments to say when Josh walked past her. He was leaving the house.

She walked downstairs in slow meaningful strides to join her _mother_ at the kitchen table.

"HSOJ is gone."

Audrey sensed the girl at the table. "Good. We don't have much time. Did you make your

decision?"

It wasn't her question to ask.

"Yes. And yes."

"Did you pack your suitcase?" She wasn't concerned.

It was part of the deal she made.

It _had_ to be asked.

"Yes."

"Do you have your card?"

"Yes." Megan took a small yellow index card out of her skirt pocket.

It had a big number #4 on it.

Number four was popular with all the young ladies these days.

Audrey walked to the phone and dialed only two numbers. "NAGEM is ready." She hung up the

phone and stared blankly through the young girl, "Get your suitcase, please. Your ride will be

arriving shortly."

The last bit of emotion came out of the girl's mouth as she stood up.

"YERDUA, will I ever see you again?"

"That is not up to me. Get your suitcase, please. Your ride will be arriving shortly."

And it wasn't up to her.

**Flashback **

**Some time ago**

**Before the kids and the concept of "family"**

Audrey Janson was struggling in her part-time job as a clerk in Rutherford's Department Store. She

was envious of all the rich girls that would come in and were able to drop over twenty dollars on a

single flirty Chanel lipstick.

While she would have to be content with eating ramen noodles for three damn nights in a row when

the phone didn't ring for her because she was convinced her nose "didn't look right".

Her parents wanted her to go to Maric Community College and "be something". She was eating the

last of her yogurt cup when her co-worker named Sandy came up to her.

"Audrey, everytime I see you, you look so sad."

"Mom and Dad are pressuring me to go to school and BE SOMEBODY."

"It's a drag. Why don't you come with me to a seminar?"

Yes. She could fit in and fit in nicely.

"A feel-good seminar? That is so cliché. No thanks, Sandy. Maybe, I should take a business

course. It'll pay more than being a sales girl."

"I've been watching you for a while and I'm quite nervous. I'd love for somebody to go through the

transformation with me?"

"What transformation? Are you on drugs?"

Sandy laughed, "No, drugs. Honest. All I had for lunch was a cup of Instant Smile. Come with me

to the meeting."

People were being recruited everyday.

"Will there be any cute and particularly rich guys there?"

"A ton! Oh do me a favor—write down a wish. Not a silly wish like a free shopping spree—but a

real deep down, honest to goodness wish."

Now Audrey Janson's curiosity was getting the better of her.

"What was your wish, Sandy?"

"Please—call me YDNAS."

"That's Sandy backwards."

"No, it's forwards, Silly. This society calls you Audrey. In our society you are YERDUA."

"A commune?"

"If you'd like to call it that. My time here is almost done. We can be transformed together! Now, I

have to finish my duties. A ride will pick us up after work…"

"What about my car?"

"You won't need it anymore. —and don't forget to write down your WISH."

If one ever wondered how do people become pliable to the point of following demented hippies to

go on a killing spree or other less but still earthly termed brainwashing all one had to do was look at

the case of Audrey Janson. A slacker before the term slacker hit the mainstream. A woman who

wanted instant gratification and who didn't want to work for what her heart desired.

A woman who wanted everything handed to her without so much breaking a sweat.

That's what made Audrey Janson pliable.

YDNAS disappeared in the crowd when they got to an abandoned warehouse.

"You don't believe yet, YERDUA and that's okay. I'm REKRAP."

Said a man her age with dark brown hair and honey colored eyes. He thought this red headed

woman was quite cute. Even though, she was constantly stroking her nose in a bad habit sort of

way.

"NEW RECRUITS! Please hand your WISHES to the RED WOMEN."

The women weren't dressed in red. They were naked and painted red. Audrey was a little taken

aback but handed in her wish.

_Note: I'm testing to see if this is a joke or not._

_If this is real I want to be a beautiful mom in the suburbs married to upwardly mobile men _

_who work full-time while I can decide later._

_I want to buy expensive purses, tennis bracelets, and all the assorted baubles._

_I want to live forever._

_This is probably a crock._

_Audrey Janson_

"You don't think I can make your dreams come true?" burst out a genderless voice from an

intercom to the room of all new recruits.

"YERDUA please step forward." Called The Orb

"This feels like the Wizard of Oz."

"You are greedy. Who are you to demand all these wishes? You seem to think this whole thing is a

joke. I can prove to you in three seconds that it's not. Pick only ONE of your wishes."

She laughed slightly waiting for the punchline or the cops to come in and raid the place, "I Want to

Live Forever."

The room started to spin, but in reality it was only the doings of her own mind.

She couldn't get over the matter.

It wouldn't stop until she felt the crashing thump. It was Wizard of Oz!

Audrey Janson made a deal to live forever and the bonus was the promise of eternal youth!

The men came to her like moths to a porch light (it had to be due to the more beautiful

transformation!) and she wasn't aware of the two prices she had to pay.

Her emotions were torn out of her soul and her family was always going to be a sham.

Not realizing that everyone regardless of wish was immortal. But the cocky teenager wanted instant

gratification and didn't think of entering into this universe with an open mind.

REKRAP's wish was to be married to this beautiful red head and it was granted, the catch being as

soon NAGEM was two years old he was to be reassigned.

And The Orb was giving her a new task.

NAGEM picked #27 out of the computer module herself. There was no worry from the empty-shell

mother about what they'd decide when they became of age.

They could all be mortal in a heartbeat.

If that is what they wanted they do.

It's not like she cared.

She got her wish.

By the time she met Walter Nichols at the party with the bad shrimp EKARD was in his room

playing his guitar like he had always been there

with the knowledge that he knew he was created not by woman and man, but by lab and power.

Everyone had the knowledge in their brains. EKARD was Drake Parker a guy that oozed cuteness,

was musically talented, and who knew YERDUA and NEGAM were mother and sister in name.

She was bringing home a mortal man and his son.

RETLAW and HSOJ SLOHCIN

They were going to appear to be the All-American clean cut family. And that's all it was, a fallacy.

**End flashback**

When Josh got back to the house he dropped his plastic smoothie cup on the living room floor. He

thought he had to be dreaming. The living room itself was gone.

GONE.

There was a grand indoor swimming pool. His mother was relaxing in the pool chair. A tropical

drink was in her hand for show.

"HOSJ," she called out and with that the pool disappeared. The living room was back to its former

state, "You're home. EKARD is in the kitchen. Write down your wish on this index card."

"What in the fuck?"

"I do love you," Drake said to Josh, "I can decide if I want to be mortal or if I want to stay part of

the secret society."

"What in the HELL is going on Drake?"

"My name is not Drake. It's EKARD REKRAP. Some of us have emotions. Some of us don't.

NEGAM made her choice and is being reassigned and transformed.

YREDUA's wish was to be eternal and she is. She has to be reassigned too since RETLAW

couldn't open up his mind. I could write on this paper that I want to be mortal, HSOJ. And it will be

granted."

The sweat was dripping down Josh's cheeks.

He had to be simply dreaming.

"If you want to reach for a knife, don't bother." There was a paring knife on the table and Drake cut

his pinky to indicate that he was human and really did bleed.

"I—don't understand…. I could run away."

"No, you couldn't. We're all around. Pick up the phone and call YDNIM. Family is gone. House is

gone. They have all been reassigned. You are making the same mistakes as RETLAW. Do you

really want to be lost in a hole forever? When you can be eternal?"

"I thought you wanted to be mortal?"

"I said I could be. I didn't write down my wish."

"What about the swimming pool?"

"That's what you wanted to see. So, that's what you saw. Go in the living room now. YERDUA is

gone."

"Where?"

Josh didn't have to peek

"I don't know. I do know that The Orb does not like to be kept waiting." Josh watched the paring

knife turn into a pencil so Drake could write on his index card.

"When you are done may I borrow your pencil?"

"Of course."

When Josh looked up from his card Drake was already gone.

"I love you all." Josh said to the empty room.

Did Drake choose to give up eternity for him?

Josh figured this had to be a dream. He went into the living room and nothing was happening. Then

the door swung open and a young blonde real estate agent in a blue and gold ensemble was showing

the house to a newlywed couple.

"Am I dead? That's NOT what I wished for." He called out when the humans were able to walk

through his body.

The Orb was laughing from above. Josh Nichols probably thought he was the only mortal man to

have thought of this.

Well he was going to be proven very wrong.

It was a beautiful day for a barbeque in Memphis, Tennessee. Mom was making lemonade. The

previous mother died in an auto accident and the husband a wealthy businessman found Heaven on

Earth two years later when she walked into his life. The young daughter dressed in a green and white

cheerleading uniform took the potato salad out of the refrigerator.

"Mom, I can't get in the bathroom! They BOTH are hogging the mirror again."

"I'll take care of it. You stir the lemonade, Sweetie pie."

Accents perfect.

When Daddy would die in a train wreck two years from now. The Orb would be very pleased with

the money this woman knew how to make.

"Boys," Mom knocked on the door, "It's time for pictures."

They both liked their hair to be just perfect. So they could flirt with the older cheerleaders.

"Did you steal my after shave?"

"Did not."

Father was putting the steaks on the grill for his unbeknownst to him eternal family.

HSOJ wanted them to be together forever and The Orb granted that wish. NAGEM's new

assignment was short-lived and altered to fit this plan. She drowned in a lake.

The Orb granted everyone's wishes.

Numbers 38, 4, and two twin 27's sat on the sky blue sofa. Their eyes were looking through the

moment rather than being a part of it. The quest for the fine things and eternal life sealed the fate for

the Parker-Nichols family.

They'd always together, but forever apart. The food sucked out of their bodies at night when each

of them went in the cleansing chamber.

Memories erased from one assignment to the next.

YDNIM was forgotten as HSOJ was casually playing the field with his new found poster boy looks

and ability to play rock and roll.

"I can't get over it," NAGEM said to no one in particular, "Number 27 looks just like you."

YERDUA had more love in her eyes for her Louis Vouitton bag that was on the side table then she

did for the kids.

"Enough," Audrey politely said as she stood up, "If EKARD and HSOJ are going to recruit the girls

from myspace they better get a move on. And NAGEM don't you have studying to do?"

A trip to Graceland, indeed.

"Yes, Mom." She walked upstairs to her room where she would sit at her computer desk for two

hours until called downstairs by her father.

It was time to start the chain of events that would lead to New Daddy's train accident two years

from now.

"Bye Mom." Each kissed a cheek.

The Orb deleting the emotions that they had felt for one another.

Gone were the memories of not needing the dress, a poolful of chocolate milk, opening up the other

house as a bed and breakfast, getting driver's licenses, getting a brother out of remedial English, and

sticking up for a brother who was getting bothered by the jocks from a rival schools football team.

Megan got her wish to be two years younger than her brothers, Drake wanted like his mother to live

forever and had no intention of ever becoming mortal.

Josh's decision sealed his fate.

He wanted to be _just like_ Drake.

And now he was.

They were eternally vapid.

Like #38 they made a deal and they had to stick with it.

"Bye, Boys," Audrey put her head on the door frame looking up at the sky and not at the young

men, "Don't forget to be home before dark."

The sun seemed to wink back at the woman who made the deal.

The Orb was pleased.


	2. Version 2

**Version #2**

**Number 27 (Looks Just Like You)**

"**YERDUA is calling for us." **

**The sixteen-year-old brother and eleven year old sister stopped their game of Chinese **

**checkers on the bedroom floor and walked to their mother's bedroom door. The other **

**si****xteen year old in this house couldn't hear a damn thing that was going on as the shower **

**wouldn't turn off and the door wouldn't open. **

"**It's happening." She stated. Her old mall clothes were on the bed and she was wearing the **

**customary black leotard with fishnet stockings and moderately high heels. Her nametag **

**said "Yerdua". And she was more gorgeous then she ever had been. Her raven hair was **

**s****hiny and in a modern cut. Her eyes sultry and her legs were long to seduce the men folk. **

**The Orb granted their wishes. **

**The smart and revenge oriented little girl and the playa older brother were one step closer **

**to getting rid of their respective Earthly labels.**

"**Do you know what you have to do?"**

**He asked her as they got back into position on the floor in front of their board game that **

**held no meaning to them.**

"**Yes."**

"**Guys! Didn't you hear me screaming? Asked Josh entering the room in his robe.**

"**Did you get your toe caught in the drain again?" Drake asked**

"**No. The shower wouldn't shut off and the door wouldn't open. I called and called. How **

**come you guys didn't hear me?"**

"**We were busy playing. I'm out of here. This room smells like boy anyway."**

"**Say, Josh, why don't we go to the Premiere? You don't have work we could see a movie."  
**

**He loved that brotherly bonding crap.**

"**Okay."  
**

**It was the last time Josh Nichols' world would make any sense.**

Three hours later: 

Josh wondered where Drake went as he entered the living room to see a woman from the back

cleaning the bookshelves with a pink feather duster. She had on a skimpy French maids uniform.

Like the kind you see in Fredrick's of Hollywood catalogues. When she turned around Josh tried to

repress the hard-on. His cheeks got rosy red when he realized it was his Mother.

"MOM! I didn't know that was you?"

"Mom? My name is Doe," she pointed to her nametag, "You must be Josh. We were expecting

you?"

"Excuse me?"

This was his home and someone who looked like his Mother's identical twin was a maid who told

him that he was _expected?_

"No one is going to harm you. I'm going to go in the kitchen and whip you up a batch of Instant

Smile. Why don't you look through the catalogue?"

Catalogue? It was hardly the Sears-Roebuck. It was one of those two-sided books. The first side of

this heavy coffee table bound book had a pink cover and said WOMEN on it and when you turned

it over MEN (appearing upside down) on the other side.

Josh opened up to the men's side and nearly threw up when he noticed Drake's headshot.

Underneath his picture was the number #27 and many five star customer reviews raving about that

particular _model._

"That's a very popular selection." Drake sat next to him. But he wasn't dressed in his usual t-shirt

and jeans. Josh put the book down and went to sit on the chair across from him.

"Go away—"

"I'm not going to hurt you. If I was going to I could've done so already." His shirt was dark blue

looked like something off of Star Trek, but without the symbols and his pants were thin spandex

pegs. He was wearing a nametag that said "Drake" on it.

"What in the Hell is going on?"

Doe came in with two cups of Instant Smile.

"This will chase your blues away. Drink up…"

"Drake…"

"No, it's EKARD. The nametags are just for Earthly inventory purposes. Your name is HSOJ."

The adolescent nametags were spelled normally, it was only the older ones that were backwards

seeming.

"I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK YOUR FUCKING INSTANT SMILE!"

"It doesn't have to be like this. Bye-bye."

From the window Josh noticed two teenage boys that looked exactly like Drake jogging down the

street with nametags that he couldn't make out clipped to their track jackets.

#27 was a very popular selection.

Then there was a little girl playing with a puppy who looked Megan who waved to him from the

house across the street.

Josh knew it wasn't Megan at all.

_In the basement:_

"EKARD for YERDUA." He said into the intercom matter-of-factly.

Buttons were pressed and the door was opened as YDNIM slept in the circular chamber.

"He's _not _cooperating."

"Did you tell him about the promise of eternity?"

"No. He wouldn't let me."

"You watch over YDNIM. I'll tend to HSOJ."

YERDUA walked into the living room to find one book off the shelf, "Doe, please put this book

away. I will not live in filthy surroundings."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"You people are too lazy nowadays."

Josh couldn't get out of the house. The doors wouldn't open. The windows wouldn't break.

"I don't appreciate you throwing about my fine things."

The one emotion Audrey felt was the love of luxurious material possessions.

"You're NOT my MOM! STAY AWAY!"

"You are right. I am **_NOT_** your Mom. But I can take you to a much better place. Imagine a place

with no wars—and everyone is beautiful and no one asks any questions. And imagine eternal youth

and life."

"I want to leave." He replied in his most calm tone.

"See you'll get better results when you talk to people with respect. But you'll see all of the houses

are connected. Those who didn't want eternal life are now LOST somewhere."

"DAD!"

"RETLAW had his chance."

"Why are the names backwards?"

"No. They're forwards. It's the society you are thinking of that makes them appear the way you

think they should be."

The youth selection used the backwards terminology, but weren't granted the right to wear it on

their nametags without The Orb advancing them to the next level.

And the servants they were just ordinary obedient _ugly(!)_ menial folk

A woman appeared on the porch holding an empty bone white china sugar bowl. She was dressed

in the leotard and tights like Audrey expect her nametag said "Ecila".

Mrs. Hafer?

But she was just as pretty as Audrey was?

Why couldn't her body have stayed the same?

"Hello, Mrs. Hafer."

"It's ECILA. And I don't teach anymore. I don't have to. May I borrow a cup of sugar,

YERDUA?"

"Of course."

#38 in the catalogue was extremely popular. Even the lone African-American woman in the

community, NELEH chose it.

"We're all happy. And we are honored to live forever."

"Then why does Ali—I mean ECILA need sugar?"

"We can eat if we choose."

NAGEM came down the stairs wearing a mini skirt and a halter-top.

The number "4" was pinned to her shirt with the words, "Replace label." underneath it.

"Megan?" Josh felt woozy and went to sit down on the sofa again.

He kept hoping that this was a dream. This could not be happening. Maybe, he took acid and didn't

know it and his body was tripping? Maybe, Megan's smoke sleep in a can was more toxic than she

thought and he was in a coma dream.

Maybe—fuck.

"It's NAGEM." Her hair was blonde and in a ponytail. Her eyes were green. She was older than

she was before!

How could this even be possible?

"Go in the lab and tell EKARD to print out your new label."

"Yes, YERDUA."

"You know pardon my naivety but for all this talk about happiness none of you people seem like

you actually are."

Audrey sat next to him on the sofa crossing her legs in a seductive position.

"Because you are confusing what you think is happiness to what happiness really is. You saw CIRE

and GIARC jogging and EITAK playing with her puppy."

Josh stood up. His head was pounding. Maybe he could make it easier on all of them and just drop

dead on the spot.

"Well, that's all fine—YERDUA," Josh said sarcastically, "But if there is all this abounding love how

come my FATHER is dead?"

"Because RETLAW had no respect the universe. The Orb is not mocked. Negativity is not allowed.

And in return we live forever. There is no sickness. No crime. Everything is perfect as it should be.

Do you want to get in the lovemaking position?"

He didn't know what was worse. The fact that the woman he grew to love as his mother said such

thing or that it was said with absolutely no emotion. Like she was following a command from that

thing known as The Orb.

"NO! That is SICK! How can you even ask that?"

"HSOJ, I suggest you go upstairs in your room and sleep it over. You don't have much time to

decide."

_Back in the lab:_

The sedative wore off and Mindy was feverishly banging on the chamber.

"LET ME OUT!" She said

Her cries muffled or otherwise were not moving anyone in the room to open the chamber.

"Get HSOJ and bring him to me." YERDUA said to EKARD and NAGEM.

To them sleep meant nothing. Five minutes was the same as five hours.

Josh was surprised that he did fall asleep in the plain room that bore no resemblance to his and

Drake's room at all. It was empty except for a row of standard issue single beds. It looked like a

bland hospital room.

"We've come for you." EKARD said

He missed the devil-may-care smile on his brother's face.

These things were NOT his family. They just weren't.

What didn't surprise him was the strength they possessed. Of course in this tale his hands and feet

could move as Drake and Megan carried him into the basement.

"Why are you resisting?" Drake said in a mildly raised voice when Josh nearly fainted after seeing

Mindy being held captive in the sleeping chamber.

"MINDY! I'll GET YOU OUT!"

"HSOJ! Stop fighting this and it will all be over with and done with before you know it." He stayed

seated on the ground as Drake took a shoe box off the shelf were the laundry detergent used to be.

"Look at this photograph."

"I'm confused," He wiped the tears from his eyes, "Why do you have a picture of Eric in your shoe

box?"

"That's NOT CIRE. That's ME! _I was the school nerd!_ The cool guys who wouldn't let me sit at

their lunch table picked on me—I did well in school, _but all I wanted was to be popular and cool._

It was a few months ago when YERDUA told me about The Plan and I latched onto it, HSOJ! I

was Drake to the outside and EKARD to our secret society_. I FINALLY belonged._ I am good

looking, I can play the guitar, sing, and I have many, many girlfriends that I have no feelings for. And

you can have this peace of mind too! We had to take YDNIM because her parents resisted and

wound up with RETLAW spinning somewhere outside the Earth with the rest of the non-believers.

Soon the years will go by and the only thing we will feel as we move from family to family and place

to place is eternal PEACE of mind!"

NAGEM held up the portion of the female faces in the catalogue to Mindy. Who by now had

stopped panicking about wanting out of the chamber.

Her finger was shakily pointing as YERDUA nodded her head in agreement.

"This shant hurt a bit." She took the cell phone out of her pocket to call for the Doctor.

**3 Hours later:**

"I can't believe I was frightened over nothing! Number 4. I look just like you. Will you be my best

friend?"

"Of course."

The words were meaningless just as their new eternal lives were.

And they went off in single file to stare at the television in the living room to watch the latest teen

serial.

Josh made his decision. The question didn't matter how could Eric (in #27) be outside jogging if

Drake really was Eric?

The real thought of the matter was he didn't want to let them go. "YERDUA?"

"Yes, HSOJ?"

"Call the Doctor and tell him to come back. I want to get this done as soon as possible_. I choose _

_number 27."_

EKARD smiled as he played his acoustic guitar into the night.

HSOJ was going to look just like him.

Page 20 of the Men's Catalogue

Model #: 27


End file.
